I was thinking back on 2017 and thinking about writing this post and all I could think was "wait what has actually happened in 2017?". 2016 was such a dramatic year in terms of me travelling the world and starting uni, so many new things that 2017 seemed a bit "meh" in comparison. But it has been far from meh it has been full of so much growth, as well as so many experiences, and mentally I am so so much better off than I was a year ago today (though seasonal affective disorder has been kicking me in the butt more recently ).

I started 2017 slammed back into uni in the second term of first year, doing my first set of exams absolutely terrified and still trying to feel settled in a place that I did not feel at home in. A quote from the end of 2016 post was "I feel like I've lost a bit of myself. I haven't been myself, I've been ridiculously paranoid, and second guessing everything" and this carried on, though I worked hard at it. The end of 2016 and half of 2017 has probably been the most anxious I've been in my life, I'd have regular panic attacks, and had stomach pains so bad that I could barely eat from my anxiety, things were not good in uni and though I was enjoying myself I was also not very well mentally.

But I kept going, I got a first in my first maths exam and said goodbye to some of my old demons, I started to actually believe in my own capabilities and thought maybe I was good enough to be on my course. But there was a long way to go. But uni still wasn't my entire life.

On this blog I started my 2017 in compact series, which has gone a bit astray in the last few months due to my mental health difficulties but I am very happy to look back on the year with that! I will definitely be trying it again in 2018 and I'm so so glad that I gave it a go. It made me appreciate the every day moments and made me try and find things that were beautiful in even the most mundane moments and days. I had photos with friends that I will physically own and cherish forever, all of which is very magical

Muccycloud also became more and more ethical in 2017, starting off posting some brand roundups, then my first ethical purchase, then celebrating my fourth year on this blog, before a completely new website! Designing the website was a lot of hard work but in the end it turned out just as I dreamed, and I can't wait to see where it goes in the future. I've learned so much from following more ethical blogs and news, and have learned to live a lot more consciously. I attended my first event as a blogger too, a bingo bash by Mecca Bingo which was a surreally fun time. It's been my first year as a fully fledged ethical blogger and I can't wait for another one, I hope you're all liking it too.

More internet related achievements include me starting to write for Love From Berlin, now Yeoja Mag, which has taught me a lot about my writing and I honestly can't quite believe how far I've come in a year (thank you Rae). This meant me getting out of my comfort zone, interviewing artists, writing about LGBT issues, photographing super cool events and having a whole lot of fun. Plus I've written an article for Selva Beat and tried a week Palm Oil free, a learning experience. I've discovered a lot for wiring I never thought I had and I can't wait to write a whole lot more.

Back to uni and oh a whole lot happened with that in 2016, I finished my first year with a first and I finally believe I might be ok at physics! Plus I ain't too bad at Japanese either. And though I was terrified to come back to uni, as I lived in such a toxic environment last year and didn't want to put myself through that again, I've had a ridiculous amount more fun and have been so so much more relaxed (maybe too much). Every time my parents see me they say how much more relaxed, happy, and healthy I seem  this year. I'm proud of actually getting through what was a hellish year that other people didn't even think I would get through, and though my mental health definitely isn't perfect (and I need to finally make a proper doctor's appointment) I am actually looking forward to going back to uni this January, and that's a first!

And though I didn't travel nearly as much in 2017 as I did in 2016 I still managed to get a bit in there. I visited two festivals with one of my best friends, experiencing Bluedot for the first time and losing myself in the magic that is a space theme'd music festival (yes I was unbelievable in my element), and then experienced a very cold and exhausting, but extremely fun Greenman where I partied back stage and ate my weight in vegan sushi. Plus I visited the wonderful Cuba, partying it up at Carnaval, blacking out in a cave party, and absorbing a whole lot of sun and culture. There were one or two trips to London, and trips to see family which made it all even more magical

I went to my first protest, with some incredibly inspiring speakers talking about the atrocities happening to gay men in Russia. And though it's still the only protest I've been to I do want to go to a lot more. I also went to my first proper safe space events with fan club, celebrating non binary and female artists and creatives and I can't wait to find more of these either. There's nothing quite like feeling wonderfully safe and at home in a place. I also attended a whole lot of other gigs, tried a lot of new bars and made a few strings of bad decisions (they gotta be in there somewhere).

I turned a year older too, left my teenage years behind. I was kind of glad to say goodbye to them to be honest, as with everyone I don't think they were the kindest. Though it didn't go out with too much of  a bang, just a few drinks at the pub ending in one of my best friend's trowing up outside and the rest of us trying to get him a taxi home, hey it was a memorable one!

There were a few body changes too, I got my first facial piercing and my first tattoo in 2017, getting my septum stabbed with a needle back in April, which I still haven't got changed, and my first tiny little tattoo in November. I'm not sure whether I'll have more facial piercings in the future but I've definitely got a tattoo wish list. I had a good few hair colour changes again, but mainly went back to old favourites, and I plan to start 2018 with some new colours.

2017 meant making, and growing existing, friendships that I am pretty sure will be lifelong. I finally feel at home at uni and I am so so much more confident than I ever have been in life. The blog had a fair few outfit posts,  there's been some lifestyle changes, a lot of realisations, I have no idea where things are going in 2018, I haven't even planned my travels, but I look forward to them none the less. Thank you to everyone who made 2017 the wonderful, though sometimes very hard, year that it was. I'm very grateful for everything it gave me.