Friday, 29 April 2016

Shifting Perspectives

I've found that a lot of the blogs I've been following no longer inspire me. Scrolling through my bloglovin dashboard I find myself not being that interested in a lot of the posts. On instagram I'm unfollowing a lot of people too. But I see this as a positive thing. I used to go through blogs looking at the pictures of these famous bloggers wondering why I couldn't style like that; look like that; take photos like that; or be that popular. But I don't want to think like this any more. And though it's not the bloggers' fault I felt like that it was the only reason I really followed them; so it's time to let go.
That's not to say none of the blogs I follow inspire me, I follow so many wonderful people who inspire me every day. I don't think I'd still be blogging if none of it inspired me.It's just not what I thought I should be doing what actually makes me happy.
I don't like the way a lot of fashion blogging has gone, to just showing off stuff and trying to sell things. About just posting a load of photos of clothes and links to buy them. But that's for another post.
While I was away, either travelling alone or staying with a large number of people and not really having a lot of alone time (big contrast) I had a lot of time to think. I also had a fair few new experiences, all of which have shifted my perspective on things and made me see the world, and myself, in a more healthy, positive way. So this post is about why I've changed perspective, what's changed and where this blog might be going next.

For a while, though I was still blogging for myself and loved it, I was very focused on the numbers. It was all about getting this site big. and ok that's still a dream, but it was an unhealthy obsession. Spending an hour plus a day on loads of blogs commenting on them about how I loved their scarf or skirt or whatever and hadn't even read their post.  I rushed through posts I didn't really like to comment so they might just look at my site.
Checking my blog stats every day and getting paranoid about why they weren't going up and why I couldn't be more popular. And though it wasn't like I spent all of my time on my blog, any time I was thinking about my blog or doing something to do with it, it was all about the numbers and making it bigger and trying to be like other bloggers. And what formula would work to make this get more views. And what could I post that would get me more followers. Which was meaning I wasn't actually enjoying blogging as much as I could be, it was causing stress where it could be relieving it.
And none of that is what's really important anyway. It's lovely having people read my blog and comment on it, and I'm so so grateful to you guys who do. But I don't need this to be really popular to enjoy it and that certainly shouldn't be the thing I'm primarily focusing on.
 Travelling has made me so much more aware of just how much privilege I have and I want to change my habits. I'm becoming a lot better at being a good vegan and want to start moving towards being more ethical about my fashion choices; like ditching sweat shop driven stores, and shopping second hand or small business.
I also want to appreciate the fact I have this space and really start making it my own, not just me playing it safe or trying to be like anyone else.  I was never really doing what I wanted with my blog, just following other people. That's changing.
Before now I was too scared of making posts like this in case no one actually read them; and in case it would cause my bounce rate to increase due to people seeing lots of words and getting bored. But I blog for me, and if people want to read it then that's wonderful. And if people stumble across my blog and what I actually want to write and enjoy writing and creating isn't for them then that's ok too. I am not here to please the whole world, I'm here making myself happy.
I was also scared of saying something wrong or "controversial" and having people disagree with me. But I'm starting to get comfortable with having my own opinion about things and doing what I believe is right. Which means I'm going to start posting about topics close to my heart, something I've always really wanted to do but have never had the courage to.

Over the last six weeks travelling, and week back home, I've started becoming more of the me I've always wanted to be. I'm making positive changes and growing and this space is hopefully going to grow with me.  It's only the beginning, which is both exciting and a little bit nerve-racking.
But the old scared me is gone, I'm going to trust myself, and be proud of myself. Create and learn.
 I'm learning to be happy where I am right now. To appreciate everything as is it, because it's all pretty wonderful.

This new style of post does require a lot more proof reading, which is one thing I'm not so much looking forward to. But I'm sure it'll do me good. This was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be to be honest. My writing doesn't flow in the way I want it to and I'm sure my grammar is trash but I'm sure I'll get better in time. And I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now but I'll keep powering through.
Also my face in the last photo was trying to be like "ooh look at this field I found that I didn't know existed; how cool" but ended up with me looking sad and confused. Eh, shit happens.
Thanks for reading!
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Friday, 22 April 2016

Sloths, Sloths, Sloths!

So I'm back from Costa Rica! It was amazing and life changing and all the rest of it but I'll talk about that in future posts... once I've figured out what posts I want to make and what order and blah blah blah. But while I figure all of that out I needed a blog post for today and I thought as there were lots of sloths and people like sloths this would be a no brainer really, a post with lots of pictures of sloths and some information about them, sound good?
So while I was out in Costa Rica I spent 5 weeks volunteering at the Costa Rica Animal Rescue Centre.Where, among other animals, they have 23 sloths (24 now I think) and I got the chance to take lots of photos of them while I was there.
Ok so the photos are mainly of the three orphan babies Ena, Jay and Sarita but I have a few of other sloths too and I can tell you the stories of some of the sloths I interacted with more. The rest of them were pretty independant and either set for release or with babies for release so we just gave them food, cleaned their cages and left them to it most of the time. If you don't wanna read just enjoy pictures of sloths.
Sarita

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Saturday, 16 April 2016

Totally beachin'

So this is my last blog post before I come back from Costa Rica, I'm writing it less than 12 hours before I leave for Costa Rica after writing 6 other blog posts (which was very tiring but worth it). It seemed appropriate that the photoset be from a beach, ok not a beautiful sunny beach with blue water but it's the beach in mu home town which is also cool.
The light the day I took these photos was idyllic, and ok the sky could have been blue and not washed out buuut I live in Wales so could I really excpect blue sun and sky? No, even on St Davids day I couldn't (which was back on March 1st if any of you guys didn't know).
So I head back from my six weeks in Costa Rica on Monday which is ridiculous but also exciting, I imagine I'm looking forward to being home but also just wanting to spend the rest of my life lying on a beach. Who can blame me.
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Friday, 8 April 2016

Flawberry

I'm a flawberry, but that's part of being human. 
Ok that was really soppy and all the rest but when i was editing these pictures I didn't really like most of them and was thinking what to name them and for some reason I was like "strawberry" even though I am not wearing anything to do with strawberries, but instead I said flawberry, beccause they're not what I wanted and I didn't have time to take more as I'd left everything to the last minute but hey, I like a few of them quite a bit and that's enough. I ain't perfect.
Also I've decided to stop taking myself so seriously when it comes to taking photos and just have some fun, hence the really weird portrait, it's goofy but so am I so it fits. For me I just want to find new ways and better ways of taking photos and editing and getting better, rather than trying to make myself someone else and try and be this vision of what I think fashion bloggers should look like in their photos. That's not me, I'm a goofball who's photogenicness is hit and miss so I'm going to just embrace that and enjoy it. This blog is about photography and fashion, not trying to make me look like a supermodel or a carbon copy of any other blogger.
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Friday, 1 April 2016

Late Walk Home

Back in my last job I spent a lot of my time waking home in the dark, at first I hated it and just wanted to get from my train home as quickly as I could. But as time went on I got to appreciate the dark; how different everything looked; how much more my creativity would be working compared to walking home in the day.I got to love my walks home. I walked one of two routes and the one pictured below is the one that I didn't usually walk. It was longer and steeper but when trains didn't run to my usual station I ended up walking home this way.
Since doing my photography course back at the end of last year and doing my project on night time photography I've wanted an excuse to go out and experiment more with taking photos at night. And put that and seeing the night so much more beautifully than I did before and here we have this photo set. I just wanted to capture what I saw as the ordinary but beautiful and see what happened.
Each time I walked home I thought of a new thing that would make a good photo and how I would take it. And ok I didn't do all of them and not all worked out as planned (cars in the way, etc.) but it did work. 
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