Words are a funny thing, words that once hurt you just make you laugh once you've grown out of caring about them.
Today I have a little story about going to take these photos, it's safe to say it didn't go to plan.

There's a pathway near my house that runs along between my town and the next, it's a well lit lane running between a school field and the back of some houses,  and I thought it would be perfect for these photos because there were giant daises growing all along it. And I fancied a night shoot so wandered down there at about ten pm.

I got there only to discover most of the daises had lost their flowers, and a that this path is a whole lot scarier at night than I'd anticipated. I wandered back and forth trying to find a good spot, while also trying to calm myself down, and eventually get the courage up to set my camera up and start taking my photos
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Then I hear voices and get scared all over again, slowly the voices drew closer and a few drunk kids, probably about  14 or 16, came walking down looking at me and my camera. They seemed generall confused about what I was doing down there but were nice enough. One of them asked my name and wished me luck with my photo taking. I thought "oh well there we go I was scared for nothing they were fine" at which point I heard one of them yell to their friend "Hey did you see that fucking weirdo?!" and another reply "yeah I got her name but I dunno what the fuck she's doing down here".
Charming. I was a little dumbfounded I must admit, it's been a long time since I've been called a fucking weirdo, but it wasn't a first. Back when I was in school and  a little bit of a nerd/wanna be emo kid I'd frequently get called a weirdo, and worse, and back then it hurt a lot. But this time all it did was leave me generally perplexed, it's amazing what a few years and a bit of life experience can do to the meaning of words.
Yeah those kids probably shouldn't have shouted that, they really showed two faces, but why would I care what five kids who have never met me before (and who have no idea what I'm doing) effect me? It kind of took me back that anyone still considered me a weirdo enough to shout it out, but they do and it doesn't fucking matter.
All of this kind of made me want to go back and hug young teenage me. I got called all sorts of names, people would say things they thought I couldn't hear or knew I would, and though I tried to stay strong and not let it affect me it really did sting. I wanted to go and tell young teenage me that none of that even matters! A lot of  kids are just mean mean, so are a lot of adults. I wanted to say that one day all the words that hurt will just make you laugh. That it eventually becomes bizarre that kids will shout weirdo behind your back or call you names.  And sure there are words that people call me now that sometimes hurt, but no one is even able to try and pick on me like they did when I was in school because I just don't care! I want my younger self to know that.
People are sadly often unnecessarily horrible, but all those teenagers saying I'm a fucking weirdo did was prove their ignorance and nastiness. It said nothing about me, other than the fact that having a camera down a lane at night is considered odd (but I knew that), and it didn't need to remotely effect me negatively. Brushing off horrible comments is easier said than done, but it can be done. People will always be mean but you don't always have to be hurt. 

The fact that they were then stood at the end of the lane watching me, and that it was dark and I was shit scared of being kidnapped (probably slightly irrationally), did mean that these photos didn't quite turn out like the picture in my head. But I ended up making challenging my editing skills and learning how to draw digitally a bit better. Things really do work out for the best when you persevere and this weirdo here is proud of their work.

TL;DR people are sometimes horrible but you can learn to live your life without their words having a detrimental effect on you. Also I'm apparently a weirdo, and that's ok.